


rumor says

by joshriku



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, dimitri waxes poetry about felix and everyone is really fuckin aware, felix is the oblivious one, the rest of the blue lions are just chillin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21892075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshriku/pseuds/joshriku
Summary: Someone spreads a rumor in the office that Dimitri and Felix are fucking.Felix is about to do something stupid. His lips twitch, and God this is such an awful idea that he’s too excited of.“We could play with them,” Felix is grinning now. “Confuse the hell out of them.”“I normally would enjoy seeing you smile, but I am quite frightened now. Confuse them?”“Fuck around with their heads. Let’s make them believe they are actually right.” Dimitri looks horrified, but Felix presses on, “Come on. Are you telling me you don’t want to have fun?”
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 22
Kudos: 187





	rumor says

“You,” Felix says as soon as he walks into the office. “You – you damn – _are you hearing these things?_ ” 

Dimitri looks at him with curiosity adorning his eyes, not fazed in the slightest by Felix’s abrupt appearance. He puts his papers down and with a patient smile he asks: “What’s bothering you, my friend?” 

Felix is seething. He’s seeing either red or white and he can’t decide which one accurately describes his emotions best. Fists clenched, he puts a sentence together. “Picture this. You wake up, you go on about your day, and suddenly—” Felix takes one stabilizing breath. “—suddenly someone asks you if the mark on your neck was done by the boss.” 

The mere act of reviving that memory makes Felix’s skin crawl up and his face flush with what could be anger _or_ embarrassment. Who even says that to someone? Was that _not_ something they always taught kids? ‘Don’t comment on other people’s appearances’ or whatever type of bullshit. 

Dimitri looks taken back. “Well. I certainly did not foresee _that._ Who was it? Who asked you that?” 

It’s the next few words that makes Felix tire out immediately. “Bernie. Apparently, it’s a common discussed topic between everyone in the building that we are secretly fucking.” 

The pen that Dimitri was holding breaks in half. 

“Worry not, I have a box of them,” Dimitri smiles, nervousness written all over his face. Thank God he knows better than to buy one pen. “How long has this been going on for…?” 

“No clue,” Felix takes a seat in front of his desk. Being angry can really wear you out. Now, he’s more offended than anything. “I asked her and she said she didn’t know for _sure_ , it’s just what she has been hearing. So someone is making up rumors inside the company.” 

“Certainly,” Dimitri, despite the situation, chuckles. Felix fixes him with a glare. “Ah, no, it’s not that I find it funny. It’s just… it _is a_ bit amusing that the rumor going around is that we are, uh…” 

“You can say fucking. No one is going to haunt you for it.” 

“I’d rather not say such words,” Dimitri smiles. Felix wants to slap him. “As I was saying – it’s funny how people think we are doing _that_ when it seems more obvious to believe that you hate my guts.” 

Felix hums. “I don’t _actually_ hate you. Just a little bit.” 

“Comforting.” 

“As in… if I were told _‘you can only slap one of these_ ** _one_** _time and never again’_ and the options were Sylvain and you, I’d choose Sylvain.” 

“Truly honoring.” 

“I’d be disappointed to not slap you but the thrill of slapping Sylvain would overshadow it.” 

“Never change, Felix,” Dimitri shakes his head. Felix is _glad_ he can joke about these things now and not be taken seriously. “What do you suggest us to do? Should I call for a meeting to clear this up?” 

Oh, right. _That_ topic. Felix brings the back of his hands to his eyes and presses them. Maybe if he presses hard enough, his head will explode and he will never have to deal with this topic again. Yet, he shoulders on, lowering his arms. “I don’t know. That seems extreme.” 

“Is the rumor with… malicious intentions?” 

“I don’t think so,” Felix groans. Now that the anger has simmered down, he’s worried he might have blown it out of proportion, but _come on_ – he’s not going to back out of this. “I… can only hope this doesn’t spread out. I’m not sure the ‘famous CEO is fucking his secretary’ rumor will sit well with the general public.” 

“Could you stop _saying_ that word?” 

Felix rolls his eyes. “Fucking?” 

“Yes. It is such an _ugly_ word.” 

“I am so _fucking_ sorry, your Majesty, what fucking word would you prefer?” 

Dimitri ignores his use of it and continues: “Something gentler, like courting, or make love…” 

“Dimitri.” 

“Yes.” 

“If you ever say _make love_ again I will break both of your legs.” 

“Duly noted,” Dimitri laughs nervously. “So, to put an end to this… rumor, should we ignore it altogether? It appears to have been going on for quite a while. You just so happened to stumble upon it today.” 

“I don’t think I like being talked about behind my back, especially about what I do with my best friend during private times.” Dimitri has a smile on his face when Felix talks. “What is it? Don’t tell me the _best friend_ mention got you sappy.” 

“Ah, whatever shall I do about that,” Dimitri leans in, smiling more. “It is enjoyable to hear you refer to me as your best friend.” 

“We know each other since _childhoo_ d.” 

“Which makes it all the more emotional – after all this time, I am still your best friend.” 

“Watch it or I’ll put Ingrid on your spot.” 

Dimitri gasps. “You would not dare.” 

“Oh, but I _would,_ ” he huffs, “you’re not even a good friend, since you let all these rumors about me spread. Ingrid wouldn’t be like this.” 

“Fine,” Dimitri sighs. “I will put an end to it.” 

“Wait.” 

“What is it?” 

Felix is about to do something stupid. His lips twitch, and God this is such an awful idea that he’s too excited of. 

“We could play with them,” Felix is grinning now. “Confuse the hell out of them.” 

“I normally would enjoy seeing you smile, but I am quite frightened now. Confuse them?” 

“Fuck around with their heads. Let’s make them believe they are _actually_ right.” Dimitri looks horrified, but Felix presses on, “Come on. Are you telling me you _don’t_ want to have fun?” 

Dimitri pauses. “It would be unprofessional.” 

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Felix rolls his eyes. “Dimitri, you’re the boss. Are you going to fire yourself or what?” 

“I hate it when you make valid points.” 

“And think about it like this: _they_ started spreading rumors about _us_. A prank won’t hurt anyone.” 

Dimitri still looks conflicted. And then he asks, “No one will get hurt?” 

“Who could we _possibly_ hurt?” 

He pauses like he’s going through the entire list of workers in the building, still conflicted. Then he nods at last. “Okay. When we reveal the truth, I _will_ mention this being your idea.” 

“Fine, whatever. I’ll take the blame.” 

At last, Dimitri smiles again. “Should we start now? Confuse people when you get out of the office, I mean.” 

“Oh, wonderful. You got any ideas?” 

He watches him stand up from his desk and walk around until he’s in front of Felix, and wow. Felix forgot for a second how t _all_ Dimitri is. His hand reaches up, getting close to Felix’s face, and the next second Dimitri is being stopped by him. 

“Excuse me?” Felix holds his wrist in place. “Mind catching me up?” 

“I, oh, my apologies,” Dimitri releases his grip from Felix, awkwardly hovering around. “I was thinking—perhaps if I mess up your hair or your clothes, it could give off the impression we were…” 

He trails off, blushing, and Felix is _not_ going to let himself be embarrassed by this. He is _way_ better than that. He nods, agreeing, because who _won’t_ put two and two together? Felix walks in properly dressed to Dimitri’s office, walks out disheveled. There could be one correct explanation, and no one would ever guess it was Dimitri and Felix purposefully playing a prank on everyone. 

Dimitri brings his hand again, making Felix suppress a shudder when it passes by his cheek, fingers grazing with delicacy. He reaches his hair tie and pulls it down, and frankly, this is a bit of an unnecessary way to untie his hair. Felix could’ve done it himself. But whatever, getting into the prank and being immersive must be a part of that. 

“What are you waiting for?” Felix glares when it’s been five seconds and Dimitri is just staring at him with his hair down. “Mess it up.” 

“Ah, yes, yes, I apologize,” and before Felix gets to ask what’s got him so distracted, Dimitri brings both of his hands to his head and starts messing up his hair. 

This is probably the worst experience in Felix’s life. He’s forgotten how much of a brute Dimitri could be as his fingers quickly tangle up between strands of hair, and with a final ruffle, Dimitri steps back to admire his handiwork. 

“Well?” Felix asks, annoyed, trying to make it look decent again—he’d look a bit messy, but not straight up like a cat freshly showered! “How messy is it?” 

“Hmm… something is missing,” Again, Dimitri leans into his space, tilting Felix’s chin up a bit and—what the _hell_ is that about. He catches on when Dimitri unbuttons the first three buttons on his shirt and moves slightly his tie. “Alright, _now_ you look perfect.” 

Dimitri’s eyes on him are a little unnerving. Felix stands up. “Isn’t it my turn? Wouldn’t it be weird if I came over and you looked perfectly fine?” 

“But I am the boss _and_ I have a meeting in…” Dimitri checks his watch. “Thirty minutes. I would rather look proper in front of potential clients, thank you. Next time, I shall let you get your fun.” 

Felix grimaces. “Why do you _have_ to make it sound weird? Whatever. Bye. Thanks for the help, I guess.” 

“Goodbye, Felix. I truly hope to see you soon.” 

Why does he have to make it sound so _weird_? Idiot. Felix walks out of the office, doing a circus of putting his shirt on to how it was and trying to look decent. He manages to walk for two minutes until he runs into Annette. 

“Felix! There you are! I was wondering where you were!” 

“Did something happen?” Felix tugs at his tie, trying to get it back in its place. If Dimitri had somehow managed to rip it… he’d be dead by tomorrow. 

“No, I just wanted to—Felix, where _were_ you?” Annette raises her eyebrows at him. “You look like a mess.” 

“I was—” Lying time. “Dimitri wanted to ask me something about sales.” 

“Sales? But that’s Sylvain’s area.” 

“Yeah, well, he gets confused at times. You know how insomnia can be.” 

“I definitely don’t—” Annette fixes on his appearance again. “Huh, yeah, I’m sure you guys only talked about sales.” 

“We did.” 

“Why are your clothes like that?” 

Bingo. Felix represses a smile. 

“I get really worked up about sales.” 

Annette grins like a kid on a candy store. She only nods and says, ‘sure, Felix,’ before giving him a half-assed explanation that everything is fine, she just realized Mercedes would be better suit for the job. She walks away _way_ too excited, and Felix sighs with fondness. 

God, his friends are like moths drawn to light—in this case, the light being rumors about his love life. And yet, he loves them. 

But he loves messing with them even more. 

**; ;**

Felix waits around the corner from the kitchen as he unashamedly eavesdrops on his friends. It’s been two days and the rumor has spread quicker than wildfire. The people in the kitchen right now are Sylvain, Mercedes, and Dedue. Of _course_ Sylvain is the one making a big deal about everything. 

“You guys, I’m serious. Annette wouldn’t lie.” 

Mercedes hums. “Yes, I suppose you’re right… Annie isn’t a very good liar, anyway. Dedue, what do you think?” 

Felix puts his ear closer. “If it is true, then I am happy for Felix and Dimitri. It’s never been a secret how Dimitri _yearned_ and _yearned_ for Felix…” 

Hold on. 

Felix hears Sylvain cackle. “Yearn! You said it. Every time you walked into a room with them, you could just _feel_ Dimitri’s pining.” 

The three of them laugh together like it’s a hilarious joke. Felix turns his head back. Are there rumors about that, too? That Dimitri is in love with him? Please. That’s even more ridiculous than the rumor about them fucking. Feeling like enough is enough, Felix walks into the kitchen as casual as he can be. 

“Good morning,” he greets. 

Everyone is terrible at acting. That might be why they all work at this company and not in theater. Even if Felix hadn’t eavesdropped, he would’ve been able to tell they _were_ talking about him. 

“Is there something wrong,” Felix levels all of them with a stare. At least Dedue looks back at him. Sylvain and Mercedes are the worse actors in this scenario. “Have I grown an extra head?” 

“No, you just look healthy,” Sylvain grins. “With a certain glow on you. You know, _a_ specific type of glow?” 

Sylvain was the least subtle person in the world. Felix appreciated that about his friend, but as far as he knew, he did not have any type of after-sex glow. Felix shakes his head. 

“I’ve been trying a new skincare routine,” is what he offers as an explanation, taking out two cups and starting the coffee machine. “I’m glad it works.” 

Dedue looks at him curiously, “Are you wearing the facemasks I told you?” 

“Yep,” Felix leans back. “Works wonders.” 

Sylvain frowns. “Hey. Why am I not invited to the skincare group? Mercedes, look at them. They’re excluding us.” 

“It appears to be a secret elite, Sylvain,” Mercedes humors him. “We probably cannot join.” 

“Oh, but I bet you’d let Dimitri in, wouldn’t you?” 

And _there_ it is. At least Annette had the decency to pretend she didn’t know the obvious. Felix feigns innocence, looking up with the most confused look he could muster. “He already did skincare before us. Isn’t that right, Dedue?” 

“He got me interested in the topic, I’m afraid.” 

Sylvain looks at Dedue with betrayal filling his eyes. Felix grabs both of his cups and nods at his friends, “I gotta go get these to Dimitri. See you guys later.” 

“I hope you have fun _delivering his coffee_ – if that even is what you’re—ow, Mercedes.” 

Felix tries to not laugh at the obvious sound of Mercedes elbowing him gently and continues to walk to Dimitri’s. 

As he walks into the office, he announces: “Our friends are dumb and very gullible.” 

“I take that it’s working,” he puts his hands up for Felix to hand him his drink. “No one has asked me anything yet.” 

“They wouldn’t, you’re the boss,” Felix sits down across the desk. “Not like they care about that, but you’re just – less out of reach to be teased. Too busy in your paperwork.” 

“Hm. Perhaps I should stop by the kitchen sometime and deliberately take my time until someone asks me.” 

“Perhaps,” Felix agrees. He takes one look at Dimitri and focuses on his drink again – nothing about it looked like yearning to him. Maybe his friends just loved to write fairytales about him and Dimitri. “How long should we keep this up?” 

“A week,” Dimitri doesn’t hesitate to answer. Did he have that prepared? “Later, we can release a statement about how people’s love life at _work_ should not be something gossiped about.” 

“Okay, sounds good,” Felix doesn’t dwell on it too much. That meant only a few days were left, didn’t it? Not like Felix intended it to keep going for months. “I should get back to work.” 

Dimitri escorts him to the door this time, opening it for him. They can faintly hear Ingrid and Ashe approaching, and Felix’s brain starts working really quickly. This is _the_ moment to prove stuff to them. 

So he turns around, drags Dimitri down, and kisses him. 

It’s not bad. 

It frightens Felix how _not bad_ it is. 

Dimitri kisses him like it’s going to be the last time he sees Felix, hands a little too strong on his hips but nothing he can’t take. He’s sure he’s about to be lifted off the floor in any second until Dimitri pulls away first, as flustered as Felix feels. 

“I will see you later,” he says, and then his eyes focus on something behind Felix. “Oh, Ingrid, Ashe! What brings you here?” 

“We were just--” Ashe starts. Felix makes an effort to turn around and see what’s happening. The kiss didn’t daze him – _it didn’t_. “If you’re busy, we can come back later.” 

“It’s fine, I was just leaving,” Felix sounds _horrible_ right now. It’s so embarrassingly not-him, he decides to excuse himself as fast as he can. 

His heart beats loud, drumming on his ears, and his brain replays the kiss again and again like he’s a horny teenager who kissed for the very first time. It — it wasn’t _bad,_ that was the problem! Felix _liked_ it. 

He’s going to slap himself and then plot Dimitri’s murder, and then plot everybody else’s for making them be in this situation. 

(Deep down, he knows he’s the only one to blame here, it was _his_ idea, and yet—) 

Awful. 

Awful, awful, awful. 

**; ;**

That next one spreads faster than the last one. Perhaps because this time Ingrid was giving the “yes, it really happened,” talk and since it was _her,_ everyone believed it. Once the initial meltdown wore off, Felix and Dimitri find it rather funny than horrifying now, sitting together at Dimitri’s office again. 

“I’ve never seen Ashe so close to swearing,” Felix recounts his eavesdrop moment near the bathroom where Ashe was retelling with both shock and joy what happened to Sylvain and Dedue. “I think we really got this one on the bag.” 

Dimitri almost looks… melancholic, in a way. He’s staring at Felix like this is the absolute last time he’ll see him, and with the way Felix had plotted everyone’s death the other night, it should be _him_ looking at Dimitri like that. 

“We really do,” Dimitri answers. “This should teach everyone a lesson on not gossiping like that. It could hurt someone’s feelings, or damage someone’s reputation.” 

Felix raises an eyebrow. “Were your feelings hurt?” 

“Not for the reasons you think,” Fuck if that’s not a cryptic answer. “Either way, I think I will be calling for this meeting at 3 on Friday, is that good?” 

Felix goes over his notes. “Yeah, you’re free at that hour.” 

“Excellent.” Dimitri looks at him curiously. “You need to go, and yet – I want to play around with this a bit more.” 

Felix’s throat goes dry. Is he going to kiss him? 

It surprises Felix how much he doesn’t disagree with that. 

The answer is: he does. Dimitri talks about making an impression or letting people talk about _him_ this time instead of Felix, and truly, Felix doesn’t care. He cares about connecting their lips and messing up Dimitri’s neat styled back hair, relishing in feeling _Dimitri_ and only _Dimitri_. 

He’s not really thinking straight  
when he trails his lips lower and bites his neck softly. “Felix?” 

Felix snaps back in. He takes one stabilizing breath and looks up to him – he’s so beautiful. He wants to say _fuck it_ and take a day off to take Dimitri home like this. 

“It’d be nice,” Felix points at his neck, “if someone saw that.” 

Dimitri brings up a hand to his neck, and with a feather-like touch, he feels the bitten area and smiles. Oh my God, he’s really beautiful. 

“I agree,” Dimitri replies, smiling. “It would be lovely if someone saw the mark you left on me.” 

His eyes change when he says that, filled with something sad and something indecipherable. 

And he’s still _so_ beautiful – how can he look so beautiful— 

“I shall make my way to the kitchen,” Dimitri pats his cheek with a tinge of love and gentleness. “I will update you on what happens.” 

Felix watches him go with his coat in one hand, looking proper even when his appearance is the complete opposite. 

He stays behind inside Dimitri’s office, knees weak. 

Of _course_ he has feelings for his best friend. Of fucking course. 

**; ;**

The thing about Felix and being in touch with his feelings is that, generally, he _isn’t_ in touch with the much complicated ones. 

Like realizing your feelings for your best friend after your second make out session. 

He has no Ingrid to run to when his feelings are a mess or a Sylvain who helps him think things through because as far as _they_ know, Dimitri and Felix have been a thing for a while now. His freak-out would not make sense, and he can’t come clean on the whole prank without the lecture of ‘please don’t mess with people’s private lives’ joining it. 

Felix is fucked. 

The only person he has right now is Dimitri, and it’s Dimitri the one he’s been avoiding. He’s been procrastinating getting up the coffee, instead choosing to do _every other errand ever_ , to the point where Dimitri himself appears on the kitchen. 

“Oh, Felix,” he smiles at him, “I was starting to think you didn’t come in today.” 

“I would’ve called,” Felix replies, not looking at him directly. 

Why can’t Dimitri go back to the old styling of his hair? When it covered most of his face? Seeing it so radiant and sunshine-like is making Felix feel nauseous. _You brought this upon yourself, Felix_. As a force of habit, he had Dimitri’s coffee prepared already, so he wordlessly hands it to him. 

“Ah, thank you. Is everything okay, Felix? You look… troubled.” 

“I’m fine. Didn’t sleep much. I’ll… be on my way.” 

Dimitri stops him with an arm, brings him close, and leaves a kiss on his forehead. _Great._ _Just what he needed_. “Oh, you dumbass—” 

“I will see you later,” he smiles, bright and precious, and Felix _will_ kill him. 

Felix leaves the place right as Sylvain is entering, thank every god within reach. He can only get so far to say “Mornin’, Felix!” before Felix is quickly stomping out of the kitchen…. 

…To a place very near the kitchen. He has to eavesdrop, damn it. 

“Ah! My man of the hour! Boss!” Sylvain greets with joy. “What brings you to the land of mortals?” 

“Sylvain, please, we are all friends here. I am a mortal too,” Dimitri says, both endearing _and_ stupid. “I was just getting a coffee, that is all.” 

“Isn’t that Felix’s job?” Sylvain pauses like he hit jackpot. “That’s right! Congrats on Felix, man!” 

“I am afraid you might be misunderstanding—” 

“No way. After the _Great Felix Fiasco of 2018,_ this is what you deserve, man.” 

The _what_? 

There is a five second silence from Dimitri. “I thought we agreed to not ever talk about that.” 

“You kidding me? We always reference the GFF. _Felix’s wonderful, wonderful h—_ ” 

“Alright, that’s _enough_ ,” Dimitri interrupts but there’s a bit of humor in his voice, like he’s not mad at Sylvain. “Felix and I are not dating, I’m afraid.” 

“ _Sure_. As if you’d ever do something casual with _Felix_ , of all people. Try to fool me harder, will you?” 

“I am not trying to fool you, I am speaking the truth. Felix and I are not dating, even if everyone seems to think otherwise.” 

“Sure. Then you kiss all your homies on the forehead when you bid them goodbye? Bull _shit_.” 

Dimitri pauses. “Well, would _you_ like a kiss on your forehead?” 

“That is the _opposite_ of what I asked — Dimitri, **_get away_ **—” 

Felix hears the sound of Dimitri kissing Sylvain’s forehead and despite the entire situation he has to hold back a laugh. Dimitri had gotten better at maneuvering Sylvain, for sure. 

“ _Dude,_ ” Sylvain exclaims a second later, “you’re unbelievable. What would Felix say to this _blatant cheating_!” 

Dimitri laughs again. “Nothing, as I said, we are not dating. See you for lunch, Sylvain.” 

Felix doesn’t have much to say to that. He desperately gets away from where he is and blends with other co-workers so he at least _looks_ like he wasn’t eavesdropping. He doesn’t fixate on the forehead kissing, but in everything said before. Why did a fiasco exist to his name? _Why_ would Sylvain congratulate Dimitri, like it was a long-time coming? 

Felix’s brain hurts a bit, but the pieces fall in place at last: 

Dimitri likes him. 

And for a very long time, as it seems. Felix drops one of his folders on the floor when it all clicks, and now he needs a bathroom to hide forever in. 

Logically, he knows the best thing to do right now is to go talk to Dimitri and put the cards on the table: _hey,_ _apparently it was obvious to everyone you like me, and I_ **_just_ ** _found out I feel the same way. We should make-out for real now_. 

But talking about his feelings? Without Ingrid as a mediator and unbiased party? A suicide mission, that’s what that is. Felix takes a deep breath and decides to do it anyway. 

Dimitri’s office has never looked _so_ intimidating before. 

He knocks before letting himself in, which is unusual since he likes to enter it without previous warnings. Dimitri lets him come in, and there is no way this could end up badly but Felix feels like it _is_ the end of the world. 

He should approach it with care and gentleness, since this is a very difficult topic. Instead, he decides to be straight-forward, damned be his blush, and ask: “Are you in love with me?” 

“I—” Dimitri blinks at him. “I am afraid I need to sit down for that conversation.” 

Felix obliges, even if he’d be okay with a yes or no type of answer. He sits down across Dimitri as usual, and Dimitri is as red as he would be if he ran a marathon. 

“What brought this on? Was it Sylvain?” 

He doesn’t want to throw Sylvain under the bus, but… “Yeah. He mentioned something about you yearning for me, and something about a fiasco.” 

That’s a lie. Sylvain didn’t mention the fiasco thing to him, directly, but still. 

“Well, I regret to announce they are not lies,” Dimitri states just like that _yes_ , he is in love with Felix. 

“Ah.” 

“I understand if you are mad at me,” Dimitri begins, folding his own hands together. “It might have changed the tones of all of past interactions, knowing the depth of my feelings. I apologize profusely, and you are in no obligation to forgive—” 

“Cut the crap out already,” Felix waves his hand around, “my turn to talk.” 

He has no idea what to say, though. This was a lot. The Felix-way of things was making his point with lots of insults with an underlining fond theme. This one was a bit harder to do. 

“I have realized some things about myself during this, too. It was not—not an unpleasant experience to do this. And it’s also… an experience I don’t want to stop.” 

Like that, Felix says, _I like you too_. Dimitri absorbs the words and when they click, the hope that fills his eyes are unmistakable. Felix has to look away immediately. 

“Surely you are not joking?” 

“I never joke about my feelings.” 

“Goddess above and below, I could _kiss_ you right now.” 

Felix cocks his head, smirking. “And who is stopping you?” 

The realization that no one is stopping him hits Dimitri so hard, Felix can see the moment his eyes change again. _Always_ so expressive. Anticipation fills him to the very core of his being, gripping his chair as Dimitri turns around the desk. This damned desk is always in the middle—Felix _will_ get rid of it. 

It should be comical to have Dimitri pinning him on a chair, sitting on his lap, hands holding Felix’s face and the other bringing Felix’s own up, lying a kiss there. It’s not comical at all. His entire body flushes with the tiniest movement Dimitri does, for the first time in his life he’s rendered speechless. His other hand comes up to Dimitri’s waist, almost uselessly, as Dimitri finally tilts his head up a bit and kisses him. 

It’s the opposite of what he expected and the opposite of their last two kisses—Dimitri kisses him with such sweetness that Felix’s body could go numb. It feels different, too, it’s starting to feel more like something that was a long time coming. He breaks away only to be pulled back in one more time, Dimitri’s hands playing with the buttons on his shirt, stealing every bit of his breath away. 

If he wasn’t in love before, he sure as fuck is now. 

“Dimitri…” he says, his voice sounding weaker than it ever has. Dimitri looks even less composed, but the intensity of his gaze makes it harder to maintain eye contact. 

Whatever he had to say disappears into nothingness when Dimitri drags him in for another kiss, a bit more intense than the last one. 

His heart is about to explode. 

It stops after what seems like forever, and Felix’s head is spinning non-stop. He doesn’t want Dimitri off his lap now or ever. 

“I do not wish for any misunderstandings,” he puts a strand of hair out of Felix’s forehead, “but this does mean we are dating, doesn’t it?” 

Felix wants to laugh. He snorts, says, “It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?” and lies his head against his chest. 

A few minutes pass with comfortable silence. 

Then, “What _is_ the Great Felix Fiasco?” 

Dimitri shudders. “You don’t want to know.” 

**; ;**

“As you may have noticed, Felix and I are dating,” Dimitri starts on Friday at 3, just like he scheduled. “However, it became glaringly obvious and bordering on PDA when we realized _someone_ was spreading rumors on the workplace. I appreciate everyone’s enthusiasm on my… _journey_ … but these are private matters. We only wanted to slap the same logic back to you all, and I hope we have not made you feel uncomfortable but instead gave you a taste of your own medicine. Starting rumors is not good, friends. _Even_ if it does turn out to be true.” Dimitri pauses. “Also, it was Felix’s idea to do this.” 

“ _Felix_ wanted to go full PDA? _Felix_?” Annette exclaims. 

“Really? That’s the part you’re gonna react to?” 

“Sorry, Felix.” 

“Anyways,” Dimitri carries on, “from now on we would appreciate some seriousness in our work environment. Would anyone like to come forward and confess they started the rumor?” 

Felix looks at Sylvain, to which he shoots an offended look back, and to everyone’s surprise Ingrid is the one raising her hand. 

“I apologize. I once said it as a joke to one of our interns—just as a passing joke! I saw you guys arguing about nothing, as usual, and I just wanted them to feel comfortable? So I went, “it’s nothing serious, don’t worry. They’re dating.” _As a joke_! But you guys remember our intern, right? They were a whole different world. They must’ve spread the idea around without realizing I didn’t mean it like that.” 

Felix frowns. “You mean Byleth? You made a joke to Byleth and they spread it as a fact?” 

“Yes…” 

Dimitri asks, “Who here heard it from Byleth?” 

A few hands go up. 

“God. We can’t even give a warning to anyone because the real culprit doesn’t even _work_ with us anymore,” Dimitri laughs despite everything. “Well, friends. That is all we had to say. Everyone, please watch your words, okay? They will always carry a consequence.” 

Everyone nods and then Dimitri dismisses them all. 

Felix sighs. “Byleth, of all people.” 

“Yeah,” Dimitri chuckles, “Although, I did not expect Ingrid to be part of it as well.” 

“I was betting on Sylvain.” 

“Ah, me too! Life has a way to surprise us.” Dimitri grins, “In the exact way that surprised me with you returning my feelings.” 

“Dimitri, if you keep bragging about it I will take them back.” 

Dimitri gasps, scandalized, and Felix can’t hold in his laughter this time. 

* * *

**2018, December 20** **th**

**The Great Felix Fiasco**

When Felix was away to visit his family for the holidays, Dimitri had the bright idea to invite the rest of his co-workers to a little outing to drink, promising they’d have a proper end-of-the-year dinner with Felix when he came back. 

It promised to be a nice, chill night with nothing much happening. Truly needed when Christmas was arriving. 

Dimitri and alcohol is a bad combination. He can drink a lot but the beast it creates is quite the opposite of a sight for sore eyes. 

Around the fourth glass, it started. 

“Everyone, what do you think about Felix?” Before giving anyone time to reply, Dimitri continued, “I think Felix is wonderful. He is very pretty and very hardworking. An asset to the team, a loyal friend, an indispensable part of our lives, wouldn’t you all agree?” 

Everyone in the table stares at each other before Dimitri continues, “I’m so glad we all agree. Felix is quite the best, if I say so myself.” 

The eighth glass really was getting to him. 

“Felix is so beautiful,” Dimitri is slurring a bit now. “He really feels like if God or the Goddess are real, then they took their time with him. We all recall when Felix started MMA training, do we not? I surely remember wanting him to pine me down with his thighs—” 

“Dimitri, we—buddy, maybe you want to take water now?” 

“And his hair! Felix’s wonderful, wonderful hair, don’t you want to just—brush it—run your hands through it?” 

“Sylvain, stop recording this for Instagram.” 

“It’s fine, I excluded Felix from the list so he won’t see it.” 

“That doesn’t make it any better—” 

On the twelfth glass everyone decides enough is enough and it’s time to put the boss on bed. 

“I love him so much. I want to hold his hand,” Dimitri sniffles into his glass, “He really is so wonderful even when he scolds you—he scolds you because he _cares_ —he always cares so much, I love him—” 

“Yes, buddy, we got you. Time to go home, boss.” 

“Ah, I miss Felix. I want to sleep next to him tonight. Where is Felix?” 

“Visiting his dad, remember?” 

“Ah, true. I. I will call Rodrigue and ask him to send me back Felix—” 

“ _Nope,_ no cellphone for you, fucking hell—” 

“Just _one_ call—” 

“Hey, everyone, is it against the company’s rules to knock out our boss so he doesn’t do anything embarrassing?” 

“No, just do it.” 

“Thanks, Ingrid.” 

The next day, Dimitri wishes his headache splits him in two. 

He goes through Sylvain’s stories and feels regret down to the very deepest parts of his self. 

He makes a quick message to everyone he invited – “Let us never mention this again. :) Thank you.” 

He throws his phone away and wonders if embarrassment can eat him whole. 

**Author's Note:**

> what a better excuse to make dimilix ooc than christmas! amiright folks! isn't that what christmas is all about..........
> 
> i don't usually write aus bc i feel self-conscious i might be disrespecting the characters but the thing is i watched the 'does bruno mars is gay' gg video again and it inspired this entire fic. yeah. that's literally what inspired it. my docs is named 'bruno mars' bc of it
> 
> i also haven't had internet the entire day and this fic is a wip since... over a month... probably... and because i didn't have anything to distract myself with i decided to just Actually Finish It because sometimes i just gotta write stupid things, you know.....
> 
> after this fic takes place they all have a christmas meeting and they get wasted again and felix and dimitri come clean abt how they got tgt and it's the great felix and dimitri story of 2019 and it ends up in everyone's ig stories  
> ok,, thank u for reading sorry for any mistakes <33
> 
> i have a twitter @joshriku where i tweet abt too many things but occassionally i go 'HHH FELIX'


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